Childhood Chores

Should children help around the house?  For some parents the answer is a resounding ‘of course!’  Others agree in theory but just don’t have the time, or energy, to devote to ‘encouraging’ their offspring to tackle domestic tasks.  Then there are those parents who think their children will be grown up soon enough and should be left to enjoy a responsibility-free childhood.

But is keeping a child free of all responsibility actually good for them?  Not really.  If a child has never had to fend for themselves in any practical way they will grow into a helpless adult.    Knowing how to use the washing machine, boil an egg and stock a fridge are things everyone should know before they leave home.  Apart from imparting some basic life skills, research at the University of Minnesota suggests, that getting children as young as three involved in household tasks benefits them mentally and emotionally as adults.  And once your child realises that their tasks contribute to the smooth running of your family life they will feel valued and needed - which are almost as important as feeling loved. 

It’s never too early to start assigning your child chores around the house.  Basically as soon as they start walking you should be getting them to tidy their toys at the end of the day.  For those of us who didn’t know this (I’m putting my hand up here) suddenly demanding that our hitherto pampered offspring start pitching in can come as a bit of a shock.  If your child is already at school there are certain jobs they could be doing already - tidying toys away, putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket, making the bed, preparing cereal for themselves and (apparently) unloading the dishwasher. 

Children mature at different rates, and quite possibly there many school age children able to unload the dishwasher without a major catastrophe but for now I’m not risking it.  Whatever your child’s capabilities if you are giving them chores for the first time start small.  Pick one or two tasks that you expect them to perform daily and/or weekly.  Tell them what you want them to do and then show them how to do it.  You need to be very specific.  When I was a child making the bed was a real ‘chore’ because it was fairly time consuming - blankets had to be removed, the sheets shaken out and then everything replaced, layer by layer.  These days it’s basically tidying the duvet and pillow but even so demonstrate to your child how to do it.  Getting them to take their plate to the sink is also a very simple task of which all school age children are capable. 

Unless your child is a total angel then expect some resistance - prepare yourself to hear some or all of the following “but I’m a child!”, “slavery has been abolished you know” and “I’m going to call Childline.”  It can be tempting when you are stuck in a nagging loop to just give up and do the chore yourself as it’s quicker and less painful in the short term.  Don’t give up or give in.  You need to be consistent with the child.  This is their job now and they have to do it.  Some parents reward children with pocket money for chores but most parenting experts agree that this is a bad idea.  It’s a fact of life that things have to be done around the home and remind them nobody pays you for doing the laundry.  A good way of encouraging children to embrace their new-found responsibilities is to link the chore with something they like doing.  For example you can tell your daughter that she’s free to play Minecraft after the dog has been fed, or your son that he can watch that YouTube video once the laundry is put away. 

Many parenting experts and websites recommend making a ‘chore chart’.  To start parents should make a list of EVERY SINGLE THING that needs to be done to keep the household running.  These can then be divided into daily, weekly, monthly etc. and chores assigned to each child based on age and ability.  For busy parents drawing up a chore chart can seem like an awful lot of work in itself.  To save time there are various chore charts you can download but as I said earlier if your children are unused to pitching in then it’s better not to overwhelm them with a variety of ‘to dos’  And, it’s easier for you as a parent to only have one or two things to ‘remind’ them about!

When allocating tasks to your children remember that they are only children.  Don’t expect or insist on perfection.  If you do you will only end up yelling or doing it yourself which not only defeats the purpose of the exercise but leaves everyone feeling undermined, frustrated and angry.  When setting regular tasks for you child remember it’s about progress not perfection.

AGE APPROPRIATE The following is a rough guide on age appropriate chores.  Obviously children develop at different rates and only a parent can really know when/if a child is ready to take responsibility for a specific task.

By Age 5
By the time they start school most children should be able to tidy away their toys, put dirty clothing in the laundry basket, make their bed and prepare a bowl of cereal for themselves.  They should also be able to do some light dusting and weeding.  More importantly they should be able to dress themselves with minimal parental help.

Age 6 - 7
At this age they can prepare packed lunches, sort laundry, set and clean the table and keep their bedroom tidy (be specific about what “tidy” means).  They should also be able to brush their teeth and comb their hair by themselves.

Age 8-9
During these years a child can walk the dog, put groceries away, hoover, put away their own laundry and make toast.  They should also be responsible for completeing their homework assignments. 

Age 10+
Fold laundry, clean the bathroom & kitchen, change bed linen, wash the car, iron clothing and cook meals with supervision.