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The Importance of Bedtime Stories
As we prepare to celebrate World Storytelling Day on 20th March, I’ve been considering the importance of bedtime stories for young children. Stories give meaning to our lives and offer us a deeper understanding of our, and others, culture and history. Stories feed and nurture us as we relax and listen.
One of the most rewarding things we can do, as a parent or grandparent, is spend time sharing a tale with our children. This is particularly true at bedtime, snuggled together, at the end of the day, in the half light for a special moment together.
I know that sometimes children get very busy and active just before sleep, I often mistook this activity believing that my children needed to burn off more energy, however I learnt (the painful way!) that this spiralling out happened when they were overtired, over stimulated and/or out of rhythm. What they needed most from me was to be helped to come back into themselves, to be quiet. I knew that the rhythm I set needed to be flexible, but my boundaries established and clear. This took time and lots of effort on my part to do it kindly and with patience!
When we give our children a rhythmic, not regimented, bedtime routine they can feel safe: bathing, brushing teeth, jim-jams, story and lights out… allows the child to enter sleep with ease and relaxation.
Children benefit from a rhythmic life as this creates secure foundations for their growing and learning. Rhythm allows them to feel protected and held so that trust and confidence can grow. Additionally rhythm facilitates learning, about words, sounds and language formation. Rhythm establishes order, whilst repetition - which is important for early brain development - brings order out of chaos.
At the end of the day, if we’ve been working hard and want time for ourselves, it can be tough to get into that ‘story zone’, to really relax and enjoy it, but if we do find this time I believe that it can be as healing for you as an adult as it is for your child.
I suggest creating a ritual and a special atmosphere, for example singing a short song or lullaby (maybe repeated every day); finding a beautiful storytelling cloth which is only for this occasion; gently spraying a few drops of lavender oil on the pillow or rug; bringing flowers or leaves from the garden - any ritual that suit your particular family – to signify this moment. I would light a candle in my daughter’s bedroom - there’s something magical and ancient about fire, even the size of a candle - and I’d finished with a lullaby and blow out the candle, as her breathing deepened and she drifted into sleep (mostly!!!).
I also recommend that you don’t tell too many stories. Stories are like meals so you don’t want to overfeed them. Ideally one story, but you do need to be totally present, to offer this as a gift. Find this quiet place in yourself, speak gently and quietly, allow yourself and your child to sink into that spellbinding world of story.
Often when I’m teaching oral storytelling, I find that lack of confidence is the most significant barrier to telling a story by heart rather than from a book. Whilst I love reading from a delightful picture book or a chapter or two from a gripping and well written novel, there is something extraordinary about putting the book down and opening the space between you, the teller and the listener. The best way to build confidence, in my experience, is to practice, dive in and give it a go! Your child will most likely help you as their imagination may well be more active than yours. Imagination is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it becomes. It’s a joy to share a spontaneous story together or for them to listen to your favourite childhood fairytale or hear a biographical story about your own childhood, children particularly love to hear about our childhood.
If you take time to share a precious bedtime story I believe you, and your children, will reap the benefits for many, many years to come.
Danyah Miller is a storyteller, story trainer and writer. For more information about her work sign up to receive her newsletter: www.danyahmillerstoryteller.co.uk or follow her on twitter @danyahmiller.